Considering
humans as social beings, there are certain and crucial requirements for them to
survive, ranging from fundamental physical necessities to emotional ones. These
emotional needs are based on building healthy relations with others as a part
of the psychological aspect of human life. As is known, relation is the bonds
in family, between spouses, even colleagues and of course between friends.
There is no possible way to determine our parents, still we can be quite
selective on the matter of accepting someone as a friend. Although, there are
several specific features we look for on someone to build up the friendship
bonds, the following three would be the basic but common ones for many;
personality, point of view and life style.
First of all, it is certainly
inevitable to observe the personality of someone before setting up a close
relationship with him/her. Indeed, there are various attitudes that can be
treated as the components of personality such as being supportive, trustworthy,
thoughtful, forgiving, genuine and kind. For instance, having supportive and
kind manner may be the essential ones for some considering that people need
emotional support in most cases and wish to have it in the kindest way
possible. In similar to this, being accused of the unintentional mistakes is
purely severe; therefore, a person who is forgiving and gracious would be what
many people look for. Another point to consider is that, imagine someone who is
far away from being judgmental conversely and s/he cares about other`s thoughts
by being a good listener, all could determine the significance of personality
of a desired friend.
Secondly, another crucial point to take
into consideration while choosing a friend is perception of life. To be clearer,
it is the fact that people see and approach the events and others in numerous
ways. For instance, people tend to see the glass either half full or half
empty. This perspective may determine whether someone seeks the good and
illustrates the bright side both in people and in themselves. In relation to
this, the attitude of a person towards the life would basically influence the
others around. Indeed, “the way the people around us respond to stressful
events — whether those people react negatively or positively — may be
contagious” *, a new study says. Therefore, to avoid negative thoughts and to
embrace a healthy and glamorous mind and life, it is critical to opt someone
who is glowing with a sparkling light and inspires around to be the same.
Thirdly, it is possible to count the
life style as a distinctive determiner in point of choosing a friend. Certain
habits like eating healthy food, sleeping times, engaging in profitable issues in
spare times could be thought as the life style. In particular, the activities
or hobbies one perform in his/her spare time are extremely important because
people generally spend their free time together by doing the things they enjoy.
If two people do not have any kind of pleasure in common, probably, having time
together will be suffering for them. Another point to take into account is
eating habits. Since there could be wide variety of food choices range from
healthy, organic to rubbish, fast-food types, it is essential to select someone
who shares the similar eating habits. As it will eventually influence your body
and health. Hence, the way we choose to live the life had better be similar
to him/her whom we choose as a friend.
All in all, personality, point of view
and life style could be the foremost criteria inquired by the majority before
commencing to build up a friendship. Therefore, it is highly important to bear
in mind them with respect to one`s priority. As point of view and life style
are bound to personality, they could be shaped or built according to
personality. Hence, it is highly possible to suggest that personality could be
the one which is mostly required to be prioritized. Yet, being over selective
could result in solitude, impact of which is negative on people`s daily lives.
As Mark Twain stated “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value
of joy you must have somebody to divide with it” *. The key point is to hold
the balance between being fussy or being hasty for the purpose of living and
cherishing the life with its entire sense.
References
*2:
www.quotationspage.com/quote/31084.html
by Sema Akbaş 1st year ELT Student @ Erciyes University
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