Band 80-90: INTERACTION AMONG PEOPLE: FRIENDSHIP

“A good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” says Lois Wyne. The scientific connection between a mother and a baby is an umbilicial cord but the emotional thing that they are connected is “friendship” between them. To tell the truth, the interaction among people is necessity for human being. Wherever you go all around the world, this interaction will find you because as even animals have an interaction among one another, how could not people have an interaction? Hence, this interaction starts with ‘encountering a friend’. For instance, when even a kid starts a primary school, s/he looks forward to finding a friend inasmuch as s/he does not want to be lonely. Yet, every human has an outlook about “friendship”. This may vary from a person to the other person. Considering all of these aspects like honest, supportive, and enjoyful can be three fundamental features that are regarded as a true friend while choosing a friend.

First of all, honesty representing loyalty and trust in one’s character is one of the most outstanding characteristic features for a friendship that has strong bond for being a long-term relationship. It does not bring more friends, on the other hand, it always provides to get loyal and trustworthy friends. For one thing, having loyal friends makes you feel confident. Hence, they do not tend to leave you alone, in contrast, they are always with you under any circumstances. This can be illustrated by the fact that a friend who has some dreadful behaviours such as using drugs, smoking, gambling will absolutely influence on you tremendously. On one hand, you try to give him/her up from these behaviours instead of neglecting him/her. That is to say, loyal friends make you withhold to mess with wicked habits. Another point to consider is that a friend should be a person you can trust. This friend is someone you can conveniently share you daily feelings. If you have a friend, s/he mainly must be honest and also trustworthy person who does not twist the truths and loyal person who makes you feel safe.

Secondly, a compliment, a smile or even a shoulder to cry can make a world of difference for a friend who needs your support. For one thing, a friend needs to hear your encouraging words when struggling with stress-filled situations. For instance, your friend copes with tough tasks and s/he does not put up with them and decides to give up them. In the midst of all this, you had better turn into a cheerleader of him/her and you had better support him/her with strong sides of your positiveness. Hence, both of you are at each other’s back. Moreover, a friend can intuit his/her emotions and s/he had better be an active listener to make them real. You should show that you understand his/her concerns by validating his/her feelings with phrases such as ‘I see that you are suffering…’ Thus, your friend will realize that when s/he needs a back, you are always somewhere here.

Thirdly, if you color your life, nothing beats having an entertaining friend. While your life is getting tedious, a friend comes and pulls you out this life. That is an enjoyful friend. For instance, you are abandoned by your beloved man at the wedding table and you are so heartbroken. Even in this case, you need to back your friend to life. Another point to consider is that in my opinion having a funny friend is unique because making somebody laugh is a mountain to climb. This person must have a good sense of humour. Hence, if you need to smile or want to get rid of troubles, this has a cure. Furthermore, while you are hanging out together, you notice that you have some similar interests such as going to cinema, swimming and so on. This kind of activities make you closer. Thus, the more you spend time together, the more you enjoy. As is obvious that you should find an enjoyful friend to breathe your life into something.

All in all, Thomas Aquinas says “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” Yet, these three characteristics features of a friend, like honest, supportive and enjoyful, are of the most significant. The foremost of all is honesty that is a crucial step  while making a friend. Maintaining this honesty requires a mega effort to tell the truth and keep your word. You can rely on and be loyal to one another in order to have an honest relationship. Moreover, being a supportive friend also forms a basis of camaraderie. A friend had better motivate his/her friend under any situations. Importantly, a genuine supportive step is to listen. Sometimes only listening is the best healer and also sometimes  having an enjoyful friend gives a meaning to you. This person is your life and soul of the party. Every moment you spend and eveything you achieve together is worthwhile for you. If you feel as if you are in a desert island, you should find a genuine friend promptly since s/he will bring out the best in you.


by Rümeysa Aktaş 1st year ELT Student @Erciyes University

band 60-70: CRITERIA FOR A GOOD FRIEND

        When we think ticklish sides of the world, we need somebody to cope with difficulties. We want to trust him/her and share our problems and our happiness with him/her. Therefore, we are always looking for the most suitable person. Of course, it is not easy as we thought but we might try to recognize people and decide which one suits us.It is also crucial that this person must give you confidence,love and listen you and make feel that s/he is always with you.Person who you choose as a friend must be like a father and always tries to protect you against harmful situations or must be like a mother and be compassionate.Of course there are a lot of criteria for a good and real friend but being always reliable,honesty whatever happens and keeping secrets can be the basic criteria.

        First of all, one of the features of a wanted friend is being always reliable because reliability is one of the most crucial qualification that is expected from a friend.For instance, when you need somebody in any situation,there must be somebody who is always near you and supports you.You must have a friend protecting your private goods when you entrust them to him/her.For example,when you are away,your friend must protect your goods. There must be a friend who you can go anywhere with him/her without hesitating. So,reliability gives you durability and makes you feel in secure.

        Secondly, honesty may be one of the qualifications which affects a person.Everybody can tell good sides of you but a good friend tells you bad sides,as well because his/her aim is not deceiving you.For example there is a problem about your friend and you realize that but you think if you mention about it,s/he can take offense but you think you should be honest about it because this problem can affect his/her life negatively.You choose your best words and tell. Maybe at fist s/he can get angry with you but then s/he will realize that you are right.Because of your honesty your friend will start to behave carefully. Relationship between you and your friend will be more durable thanks to honesty.

        Thirdly,keeping secret is one of the features which is wanted from a good friend.For example,when something bad happened although you are cross with your friend,you are comfortable that your friend is a real and good friend and will not tell your secrets to anyone.Secrets are sometimes can be too heavy incubus to live with them so you need to share them with a trustful friend.For instance,you heard a very terrifying admission from somebody and you learned it but it is too heavy to hide it and you tell it to your friend and feel that your incubus decreased.After that you start to feel more comfortable and also trustworthy. That is to say, secrets sometimes can be very crucial for our lives,finding a good friend to keep them is also significant.

        All in all,being reliable,honesty whatever happens and keeping secret are the most important qualificaions of a good friend. Everbody wants to be with a reliable person.’’When ditrust began,friendship disappeared.’’said Epicure. Reliability is equal to friendship so we must rely on somebody and try to find a real person. In my opinion, nobody rejects a person who is honest. If there is something bad or wrong,being honesty solves all the problems. Honesty shows that a person is moral.Everybody has secrets and sometimes we need to share them with somebody but this person is not be an ordinary one.We want to choose a trustful person who can keep our secrets. These criteria can hold friends all together.I mean,go on a long journey and in this journey eliminate handicaps,in the end you will reach an infinite sea then resign youself to the sea.

by Merve Cukaz 1st year ELT Student @ Erciyes University.

Band 70-80: FRIENDSHIP

          There is a fact that people have been interacting with one another for ages. This interaction has been engaging people not in the real life but also in their minds and dreams. This simply makes the interaction cover people’s lives to a large extent during their lives. In line with this, the interaction among people is so important for them in the world, where interpersonal relations prevail, that it brings with some strong emotions for people over time. These emotions also generate close relationship as we can label ‘’real friendship''. As Samuel Taylor Coleridge said, ‘’Friendship is always a sheltering tree’’. As can be understood, the friendship that people gain great experience forms a crucial part of communication among people because people are born, grow mature, and die with their friends. Nevertheless, having a real friend might require some criteria for people such aspaying special attention to personality features, mutual respect and social relations of your potential friend.

           To begin with, personality feature is a crucial criterion for people who are on the verge of making a friend. This feature forms a basis for a permanent friendship. There is a range of personality features with the inclusion of being supporting and encouraging, sharer and honest. Having a supportive friend hits the spot for people when they confront with a vague problem. In such cases, the friend manages to raise people’s moral and encourages them. For instance, while I was getting prepared for the university exam, I had low scores in earlier exams. However, my sister struggled to encourage me to succeed by heeding my trouble like a close friend and consequently, I coped with the exam. Another feature to consider is about being sharer. Being sharer may be crucial to you. Sharing includes not only property, but also emotions. As long as people share their friends’ happiness and sadness, they will be more pleased in the life. For example, I was staying at dormitory in high school years and we were always celebrating our friends’ birthdays, so we shared one another’s happiest day and consolidated our friendship. The last thing would be related to having honesty. As it forms backbone of friendship, even tiny lie may damage the friendship, so people should love each other without profit. Otherwise, they may not have even a friend. In short, above mentioned personality features are vital to make friends.

         Another point to consider in making friends is the mutual respect. This point is effective for long-standing friendship. For one thing, racial discrimination is a disruptive attitude in friendship, so you should not give priority to people’s appearance and races in making friend. The thing that you need to care in making friend is to have mutual respect. For example, a lot of blackish people may go to your country to work or study. However, when you run across these kinds of people in your circle of friends, you should never give prominence their races to make friendship. It is because people’s races are not important for friendship and people should be judged with their behaviors not races. The other point to consider is about empathizing with people. The empathetic understanding provides to continue your friendship for a long time. For instance, if your friends make a decision which you do not appeal, you should empathize with her/him to see the point instead of being angry with her/him. The last thing would be related to choosing

your words carefully in conversation. While you are in communication with your friends, you should think twice your words which will say. Otherwise, you cannot draw back your words and consequently, you may be on the brink of disagreement with your friends, so talking carefully in friends is an important criterion. To wit, mutual respect is also crucial criterion in making a firm friendship.

        Thirdly, social relation is a critical matter for a peaceful friendship process. As you know, every person wants to make a friend who is compatible with her/his circle. Nobody wants to be harmed or killed because of their friend acquired, so people care about their friends’ social relations in making friend. For example, some people come across a person who has been in the prison because of committing offense and the situation precludes making friend due to people’s prejudices against the person. In addition, people’s relationship with their families is a crucial criterion for friendship. For instance, every person cannot get on well with their families. This disagreement brings about great problems for them like not staying at their home, staying at their friends’ home or living rough and consequently, this situation causes to be approached against the people with bias in the way of making friend. Above mentioned reasons, social relations have crucial role for an impeccable acquiring friends.

          To sum up, making a friend includes criteria like personality features, mutual respect and social relations. When we look in general, these species of criteria vary from person to person. The reason of variability in making a friend stems from having different qualifications like personality features. These features are enough for people to give confidence one another. Mutual respect is a crucial criterion in terms of being understanding and not being prejudiced for people’s appearance and behaviors. Social relations are also vital matter about making a reliable friend and not being exposed to threats by friends people have. I think, while comparing the criteria, personality features are the most inclusive criterion in above mentioned criteria. Having mutual respect and good social relations will be also inevitable in making friend if people have decent personality features. In short, as Aristotle said ‘’Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit’’. As can be understood, this qualification diversity that people have causes to process slowly period of making friend. Therefore, it takes time to find a friend who has an excellent feature.


by Çetin Özgür Düzgün 1st year ELT Student @ Erciyes University